Tag Archives: relationships

Family Communication Studies


Stafford and Canary (2002) derived five relational maintenance strategies for marital resilience:

  1. ‘Positivity’ includes acting polite and cheerful, being nice, courteous, and upbeat during conversations, and avoiding criticism;
  2. ‘Openness’ involves discussing the relationship and sharing thoughts and feelings;
  3. ‘Assurances’ involves expressions of love, commitment, and in other ways implying the relationship has a future;
  4. ‘Social Networks’ concerns spending time with and including mutual friends and family in activities; and
  5. ‘Sharing Tasks’ refers to engaging in household chores as well as any tasks that may constitute the responsibilities of the couple.

While I’m not sure why they chose an acronym that spells PO ASS, these strategies provide some ideas for things we could do to help our relationships:

  • Greet your loved one warmly.
  • Talk about your dreams, aspirations, feelings, and/or insights.
  • Do something nice that says “I love you”.
  • Take some time to do something fun with your family or friends.
  • Ask if there is anything you could do to help make their life easier.

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Filed under Miscellany

Facebook Relationship Rules


In the 2012 issue of Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Erin M. Bryant and Jennifer Marmo wrote an article entitled, “The rules of Facebook friendship: A two-stage examination of interaction rules in close, casual, and acquaintance friendships.”  They reviewed literature on Facebook, computer-mediated communication theory, and general work on relationships and developed a list of rules for Facebook friends.  After checking the validity of their list with over 800 people, they settled on the following list of 36 Rules of Facebook Friendship.  (There’s other cool stuff about how the list is divided up and highlights various relational motivations, but that is for another time.)  Here are the rules … what do you think?  Would you add anything?

  1. Project yourself in a manner others would want to be associated with.
  2. Don’t post anything that will hurt a friend’s image.
  3. Don’t post anything that will hurt a friend’s career.
  4. Don’t post anything that will hurt a friend’s relationships.
  5. Respond immediately when someone leaves you a Facebook message.
  6. Expect an immediate response from others when you post on their profiles.
  7. Use privacy settings to control each friend’s level of access to your profile.
  8. Share information with close friends before posting it on Facebook.
  9. Delete or block anyone who posts something that compromises your image.
  10. Apply offline social rules to your Facebook interactions.
  11. Be aware that not everyone is honest while on Facebook.
  12. Use common sense in your Facebook interactions.
  13. Monitor your photos to make sure they are flattering.
  14. Always present yourself positively but honestly on Facebook.
  15. Know that all of your friends can potentially affect your Facebook image.
  16. Use Facebook to maintain your relationships.
  17. Use Facebook to communicate happy birthday with friends.
  18. Wish your close friend happy birthday in some way other than Facebook.
  19. Use Facebook to learn more about people you are just getting to know.
  20. Respect your friends’ time by not posting excess information on Facebook.
  21. Meet new people by adding your close friends’ contacts as your own friends.
  22. Only write on a friend’s wall if you are actually friends with them offline.
  23. Only send a friend a private message if you are actually friends with them offline.
  24. Only comment on a friend’s photos if you are actually friends with them offline.
  25. Only use Facebook chat with people you are actually friends with them offline.
  26. Communicate with your good friends using other methods besides Facebook.
  27. Don’t add someone as a Facebook friend unless you meet them offline first.
  28. Always realize that Facebook can expose lies you have told people.
  29. Remember information a friend posts about you can have real world consequences.
  30. If a friend deletes or untags themself from a photo or post, do not repost it.
  31. If you are ignoring someone’s message, do not commit other Facebook behaviors that will reveal you were on Facebook.
  32. Do not spend time trying to guess a friend’s motives for Facebook behaviors.
  33. Do not confront anyone using a public component of Facebook.
  34. Do not say anything disrespectful about someone on Facebook.
  35. Do not let Facebook use interfere with getting your work done.
  36. Do not post information on Facebook that could be used against you.

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Filed under Reflections